If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
