Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
