This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
