omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
