do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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