he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
