I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
