I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
