It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
