Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
