I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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