he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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