well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
