when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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