apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
