i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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