Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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