Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Couch. On fire.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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