Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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