dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
