C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
