I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
