apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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