The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
