You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
