You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
