I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
