Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
