Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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