I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
