good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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