Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
