you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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