Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
