Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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