I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
