that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
