The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
