id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
