Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
