Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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