Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
