i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
