FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
