When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
