He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
