Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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