No stitches, just platelets and will power
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Panties = found
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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