Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
