exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
