We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
