Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
